what Pat Robertson's kids watch

Saturday morning -- the perfect time to take advantage of the quality programming of the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

The current show is called "Dooley and Pals." Change "pals" to friends and take a wild guess at which children's show they're ripping off.

Instead of a large purple dinosaur, Dooley is a large space alien in a military-esque uniform. He visits a group of children and one of their mothers. They sing and dance and poorly act and lyp-synch.

(Perhaps Bob Briner would have something to say about their level of excellence and originality, or lack thereof.)

Today's theme is jealousy. The introductory character said families could change in many ways -- and then only noted that this can happen by new babies. The token Latino child is in poor spirits because his mother is at the hospital having a new baby. The child has just now become jealous, and everyone is confronting him and pointing out that he seems a little jealous.

Song intermission: "Clap your hands, hands, oh it's grand! Come on, everybody, and do the Dooley with me."

The mother has had the baby, the new big brother has seen it, and the brother is no longer jealous.

Sudden thought: Everyone expects the little boy to just get over his jealousy just like that. But that's unrealistic. Do we too often belittle how difficult "sin" is to work through? Or should we get through it "like that"?

Song intermission: "We're all members of a family." Every family is different. This family has one kid. This family has many. Some families have aunts and uncles and grandmas and grandpas. They must have just forgotten to mention that some families just have a mommy or a daddy, or some have two mommies...

At intermissions, a girl and a Bible flash on the screen and uncover a kernel of truth. For instance: We should listen to our parents, because they have great things to teach us. In Genesis, a boy named Cain also had a little brother who he was jealous of. (Is this really the story to bring up at this time?)

Little girls come on after the show and recite verses including "ye," "principalities," "fiery darts of the wicked."

Joke between puppet and evangelist: Q. Who was the greatest speaker in the Bible? A: Samson, because he brought the house down.

Next up: Kids' Ten Commandments. One of the characters has the bustiest little animated wives I've ever seen. I swear her voice is by the same lady who did the Little Mermaid.