Tuesday

Dear Diary,

Yesterday was a pretty successful day. I didn't cry at all, and I got all the dishes washed, and managed to piece four quilt squares together.

Today seems to be starting off on a shakier foot. In my stomach, I can feel nervousness. Nervousness in a blue bathrobe. Who's nervous at 7:40 a.m.? Nothing's happened yet!

I guess you're nervous before something happens, anyway. Then it makes more sense.

Maybe you've been wondering what Corrie says lately. Yesterday, she said don't worry about anything. Tell God every detail of your needs, in earnest and thankful prayer, and receive the peace of God which transcends all human understanding.

And today: Elijah had an attack of spiritual depression after his heroic effort on Mount Carmel (1 Kings 18, 19). He felt sorry for himself. What he really needed was sleep and food. God gave him both.

And the prayer: Lord, You know how tired I am. (Amen.) Will You give me a good night's rest and help me to discipline my diet? Show me if I have done my work in my own strength instead of working in the power of the Holy Spirit.

How can you tell the difference? Is it possible? And how do you switch from one to the other? I need specifics.

Snap out of it, dear.

Dear Jesus, thank you for a home that keeps standing. Thank you for providing enough to pay the bills this week. Thank you for a family that cares and for a job with a kind boss and for not giving up on me like I give up on you.

and all the things i cannot hide
take my beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, i pray

That's all for now, Diary. More later.
love, ariel