diary of a church hopper, pt. 9

Are we only on Part 9? It seems like Part 30 at least.

Today was a second visit to the British-looking Episcopal church. There wasn't anything particular I noticed on the second go-round -- just admired the proficient organist.

Listening to the sermon, I wasn't terribly impressed -- and then I got angry with myself. I shouldn't be analyzing how good the sermon is. I should be listening to it. The sermon is not there to impress me. I shouldn't be zoning out if I've heard the message before. It's easy to become too comfortable with some of these truths.

There was another potluck after the service. I darted out this time before someone could ask me to join. The reason I don't want to go is that I don't want to be a social burden on someone. If I went, I would either sit awkwardly by myself, or stick around to the one or two people I met the whole time. And they wouldn't be able to socialize comfortably with other parishioners. I don't want to do that to them.

I enjoy the service, but I'm worried about hooking in to the body. The congregation is almost completely baby boomers and up, and then 8 and under. There are no "families." And I'm not saying I couldn't hook in -- I throughly enjoy baby boomers and children; rather, there could be something out there that would be a better fit for me.

But that's me again talking, looking for what I want, what I need.

I'm sick of hopping. I want a church to be useful in, and I want an instinct it's the right place to be.

Is there a "right place"? Will any place do?

I'm almost ready to go over to Sunnybrook (RCA) and just stay there, regardless of my thoughts about the service, just because I could see it being easier to get "plugged in" and useful. At the very least there would be children's groups looking for help.

"Useful" is a key word. I have huge amounts of unused time on my hands; it's awfully hard to love my neighbor when I don't have any.

(Which brings up another issue -- of course I do have physical neighbors, but I've rarely seen any of them. I could go up and introduce myself, but then there are issues of safety. Jesus wouldn't worry about safety, part of me says. But Jesus was a man, and I am a single young woman, the other part replies. What is the role of safety in ministry?)

Come, Lord Jesus, and show us life.