'hairy' situations

*In memory of all those suffering from thick, wavy hair in humid settings
*Inspired by a piece read at a school creative writing outlet

Yank brush through hair still damp from a post-run sweat. Turn on the shower.

Should I cut my hair? It just won’t do anything anymore.

Work in the pre-shampoo shampoo necessary for a frizzy, uncooperative head.

Of course it won’t do anything anymore – it’s been so humid out. Cutting it is the last thing you should do. You’re better off having it long – it’s easier to just put it up until the humidity goes away.

Rinse out the official shampoo. Reach for the alleged miracle-working conditioner. Imagine each strand crying out in joy for the life-saving potion.

I’ve got time. I’ll dry it really well and straighten it and use hairspray and everything. If that doesn’t work out, then I’ll cut it.

Towel dry. Dab on the latest face cream Mom swears by. Notice how much it’s not working. Comb through the wet mop. Stop to stare in the mirror.

See how nice it looks? It’s so smooth when it’s wet. Straight, just like you could trace around my head. Just like hair should be. Why can’t it stay like this?

Go turn on the iron. Make a lunch. Put orange juice in a coffee mug. Track down all your gadgets for work.

I’ll just be really patient with it, blow dry as long as it takes.

Look at the clock. Realize you wanted to be on the road in ten minutes.

Look in the mirror, cringe at the waves already forming. Turn on the hairdryer. Realize it would take an hour to dry this mop.

Try using the cool setting like the hairdresser said.

Try drying it upside down like your roommate does. Miss getting ready every morning with her. Laugh at her habit of matching her underwear to her clothes.

Turn right-side up. Cringe. Brush.

Pause drying. Put on makeup.

Remember Nicky’s comment about how you never wear any makeup. Wonder why you waste time every day doing it. Pick at mascara clumps. Plug in straightener. Change your mind, unplug it, and plug in curling iron.

This is ridiculous. Why do I even bother? Where is that barrette?

Attempt drying phase two. Give up. Rub in the alleged de-frizzer. Do something with it, anything, so you can run out the door.

Look at your head in the car window – notice how big the frizz already is.

Notice after lunch how it might seem to your coworkers you never attempt to groom yourself. Notice that your co-worker has no frizz, might as well live in a different climate.

Start calling hair salons for openings that evening. Find everything booked for the next week. Wonder if that's a sign.