more disgrace

(Why do so many thoughts occur while driving?)

To some degree, you could say that we are avoiding disgrace when (if) we rebel from associating with Christian groups we either are ashamed of or disagree with. Maybe we won't register as a Republican because of the ridicule associated with George Bush, or we won't join an anti-abortion group because the public associates them with clinic bombings and doctor assassinations. Maybe we see hypocrisy in evangelical churches, so we look for something more liturgical.

Maybe we are hypocrits, too -- avoiding the disgrace God freely gives (?) and takes away.

disgrace

meaning: often implies humiliation and sometimes ostracism

Zechariah and Elizabeth are a pair of cute old codgers. They always go to temple and say and do the right things, make the right sacrifices -- they're even descended from the line of priests. If you can earn your way to heaven by goodness, then they're right on track.

But they had never been able to have kids. In spite of their moral purity and kind hearts, God's favor was not on them. Elizabeth believes she is disgraced.

Very randomly one day in their golden years, there's an angel and Zechariah's struck mute and Elizabeth's pregnant and the world is upside down. 'The Lord has done this for me,' Elizabeth says. 'In these days he has shown his favor and taken away my disgrace among the people.'

Six months later, her cousin Mary, another nice little girl, gets her own visit from an angel. This time, the angel flat-out tells her she is highly-favored. She gets a baby, too, and her 'soul glorifies the Lord.' Only it's God's baby and she's not supposed to have a baby yet, technically. She has been given both grace and disgrace.

To be perfectly honest, I don't know why the word disgrace catches my eye so much here. Is grace or disgrace a human conception of life circumstances here? Or is grace passed out apparently willy-nilly -- and disgrace, too, for that matter, regardless of your track record?

you know technology hates you when...

• Saturday AM: You get up to a warm and humid morning. You walk over to your air conditioner, which you've never used... and nothing happens.
• Saturday early PM: Temperature is becoming miserable. You sweat through primping for a friend's wedding, finish wrapping the gift, figure out what to write on the card, look forward to sitting in a cold church.
• Saturday mid PM: In two trips, you manage to get your gear into the car. Put the key in the ignition and.... nothing. Try once more and gather your gear back up without even batting an eye.
• Saturday night: First try sleeping on the floor in front of your fan. Then decide to open the windows and risk being abducted.
• Sunday early PM: Your co-worker tries to call you on your cell phone to tell you she will come help with your car -- only you have no reception. Go over to your landline and try to call her back -- except nothing's happening. Realize something's wrong with phone's sensor and it is not charging. Over the course of two or three calls, communicate with your co-worker to come ASAP.
• Your co-worker (and her toddler grandchildren) arrive. You go to retrieve your jumper cables from your trunk... only the trunk button inside your car has never worked, and your car is so dead it will not respond to your keychain button. Crawl into the backseat and try to reach in through a 6" by 18" hole for it.
• Hook up the cables.... wait a minute or two...
• Notice the smoke coming off the cables on both ends
• Notice the rubber melting off the cables, which had been cooking inside your hot trunk
• Your kind neighbor you've never met pulls up with his own jumper cables. Attaches. Car almost starts.
• Neighbor says you probably need a new starter. (You have had two new starters in the last 10 weeks.)
• Neighbor tries again and car starts. Starter is non-issue.
• Neighbor makes a suggestion that leads to your air conditioner working.
• Take the car to Wal-Mart while the air-conditioner refreshes your abode. Buy a new non-cordless phone.
• Hook up the phone to talk to your mum. Your mom wants to know what that fading in and out noise is all about...

:) We love technology. But do you ever worry we are too technology-dependent? It concerns me quite a bit.

do-it-yourself public relations

(Please, don't read this as look-what-I-did but as a narration of this-is-one-of-the-central-issues-in-my-life-this-week.)

Today my job is to write articles and press releases about what I did on Saturday for my paper, my hometown paper, my grandparents' paper and the college.

Here's what I've got for my paper (censored for security purposes):

Ariel ***, editor of the ***, received six awards at the South Dakota Newspaper Association's (SDNA) annual Better Newspaper Contest in Vermillion on Saturday.

The SDNA named *** its 2006 Outstanding Young Journalist among weekly newspapers. The award goes to an individual 30 years old or younger based upon their work in writing, photography and/or layout.

*** also received a first-place award for best news story, second place awards for best local column and best spot news photo, and third place awards for best humor column and best feature photo.

The awards were given for work *** completed as a reporter and photographer for the *** and the ***, sister papers to the ***.

--30-- (That means the end in newsspeak)

It was a long, long, long day -- the awards are spread out over a luncheon and a supper for goodness only knows why. I got to spend a good two hours out on the campus green reading in the sunshine, and several hours making small talk with my cohorts at our sister papers.

The Outstanding Young Journalist was the only award I really wanted. Part of this is because it is the category with the least competition -- there probably weren't even five people applying for it. If I couldn't win that in such a small state as South Dakota, there's not much hope for anything in the Iowa association awards. And it will look very nice on a resume, especially if they don't know how few choices the SDNA actually had for bestowing the title. :) When I went up to receive it, my co-worker stood up applauding and soon everyone was standing up. It was mortifying. :) For goodness' sake -- I turned in about one thing I was even proud of. (I like having the award but I hate getting it!)

The other awards were each surprising in their own way -- I was surprised to see which of my entries weren't recognized and which were. My favorite photo, a dead ringer, was third to some fires. Fires swept the feature photos. My first place news story was crap -- I would have torn it apart if a Beacon writer gave it to me. The columns received pretty accurate critique, I believed.

What twirked me off, though, was the second-place news photo. What twirked me wasn't that it was given second (I'd give it third) but which photo beat it out. It was a basketball photo! And what's really irritating isn't that basketball won the news category but that the SAME PHOTO also won in the sports photos. It says very explicitly in the rules that something cannot be entered in multiple categories.

Yes, I am complaining about awards. It was really a nice day, though. I can't say I learned a lot from people at other papers, but I have their winning stories to read through so that I can later. It was nice to hear at a session about ethics how people would handle deaths and accident photos and other scenarios. It was nice to sit down and share a meal with co-workers I rarely see. And it was nice to have something to add to my resume so early on in my possibly-brief journalism career.

why I'm glad I live in a small town

People drive past me as I walk down the street this morning. It appears to the passing public that I'm holding my rear end because I:

A)am giving it a good scratch,
B)am taking care of a giant wedgie, or
C)just like the feel of it.

The truth is: D) tried to jump the fence into the high school track for a shortcut. got my pants caught and ended up with a six-inch-long rip in the seat. How far did I have to walk home like that? 13 blocks.

At least it's mid-morning and most people are at work. :)

How do southern states go about teaching their children about the Civil War? Do you tell the children that their ancestors were wrong, died for something bad? Or do you teach with a tone of hostility toward the Union?

happy anniversary to me: one year in the news biz

It was one year ago today that I strolled into the Akron office in an outfit changed again and again at precisely 9 a.m., only to be handed a pen and a notebook and told I was going out to do an interview.

The more entertaining things I've learned have to do with semi-professional/news photography.

• "I need to run take a picture of the staff at the tanning salon. I'll be back in five minutes," I naively told my co-worker several months ago. Even then, it was easy to forget one of the basic principles of news photography: It will always take longer than you think it possibly could (that time, an entire hour). In most cases time is eaten up by waiting for all group members to arrive or become available to photograph.
• Windows are a no good, very bad thing. Lamps can be almost as terrible. Mirrors -- no.
• The bane of every bottom-of-the-totem-pole news photographer's existence: auditorium stage curtains. The darn things suck up light like a black hole. And if the curtains actually are black to begin with, forget it. You might as well go home right away and not strain your finger because 10 to 1 you won't be able to shoot anything that will be of decent newsprint quality.
• A definite advantage to being the designated photographer: Many events don't start until you've arrived. With some minor events, you are the reason they are happening at all. They cater to your schedule.
• Advantage 2: Being able to get up and move around during virtually any type of event or program (even eventually slipping out before the end) in order to get a better angle.
• Disadvantage: Sometimes feeling dumb because you're hiding behind the piano at the front of the auditorium to get a better shot at the stage. Or you're sitting on the floor of the gym during graduation.
• Disadvantage: Travelling light. At an event, you are always on the move. Don't bother to even find a permanent seat if you don't know exactly what shot you need and when it's available. You will be on all sides of the room and in everyone's way and need to have hands free to pick up the camera at any second. Pants with pockets are a must for storing notebook and pen. If you have ever, at any time, noticed your battery was low after just one day's use, the other pocket had better darn well contain backups.
• Useful trick my boss taught me: Group shots for teams are a common encounter. Instead of making the players wait forever while you take their names, bring a notebook and have the coach start writing them out while you are taking the pictures.
• Next time I have a team photo, I'm going to try tweaking that a bit: There is an awkward period of time when the coach is still writing and you are done shooting and the team has to sit there. This is prime time for headshots! One by one, players can stand up and you shoot them then and there. You know their names because the coach is writing them down in order.
• Even quicker: Get the group leader's e-mail address, send them the photo, and let them ID the members on their own time.
• Tip: Get a camera with a quick shutter response, tell the group, "Ready? 1, 2, 3," and snap on Ready, 1, 2 and 3 and throw in your own silent 4. If it's really important, even tell them you're going to take the picture three times for security and you'll end up with 9 to 12 shots. You'll have to count three times, though, if your flash will be really obvious.

diary of a church hopper, part whatever

The tale of Swastika-Carpet Church:

The whole church-hopping process is still dragging along. One obstacle could be that I don’t really believe I’ll find anything I’ll want to commit to, and even if I did chances are I won’t be here more than another year anyway.

The main town I cover is one of those with 10 churches for 2,500 people. Practically everyone belongs to a congregation – even those you would never guess. One of my co-workers even shocked me this week by telling me he was not only a church member but has given dozens of sermons in his lifetime as well. So not infrequently I am asked what church I go to.

Swastika-Carpet Church (RCA) is about five blocks from my apartment. It’s a smallish building with those early ‘70s wooden boat ceilings and orange-upholstered pews. It took me until this morning’s sermon to notice the carpet swastikas. They’re not really noticeable unless you’re closely studying the pattern. It isn’t like they’re red and black or anything – just brown and gold and flowered and wavy. But if I were to photograph it and outline the pattern for you, there’s really no way to deny they’re there.

The style is quite traditional – all organ accompaniment, no drums or guitars of any kind, not even a hint of PowerPoint fundraising. The pews are surprisingly full.

One thing about this congregation is that it looks to be Sundays-only. There is Sunday morning worship and Sunday School and evening worship.

This morning one lady asked my name. I said my first name and she replied, “Oh! From the newspaper!” Same incident occurred when shaking the pastor’s hand. The lady works at the library and was nice – asked me where I was from and where I was living and said she liked my articles. The lady sitting next to me asked my name too and shared her Bible with me.

The pastor, I’d bet, is a relatively recent NWC grad. At the very least he must be the brother of a recent grad from the theater department. And this pastor sounds like he came out of the theater department, too – I need to learn to live with the fact that some pastors use purposeful voice inflection. We aren’t all looking for the same thing in a pastor. Some are looking for interesting instead of honest. (Not that everyone isn’t concerned about honesty…) While I was sort of listening this morning I wondered – what would it take for me to like a pastor? The only pastor I’ve met in a long time (besides Will Healy just for being Will Healy) that I’ve really liked was at St. George’s. But again, St. George’s is the most unusual of congregations – full of academics and very much Sunday only. To my knowledge, the pastor’s role there is more so official permanent celebrant and figurehead more than really leader. But I like that. But “real” congregations (normal, full-time, larger, diverse) do need some kind of leader.

Update in short: There is no progress. If anything, I’m farther from committing to a congregation than I’ve been in my entire life. Much of this, though, is life circumstances.

But, as the pastor said this morning, we need to learn to be content in all circumstances. And I know he was right.

Side note: Does it seem accurate that congregations use pathetic (emotional) arguments much more than the average rhetor today?

things that remind me of my mom

Porch swings: Every morning warm enough, early, as soon as she had gotten Dad off to work and brewed her coffee, my mom did her devotions out on our front porch. She swings, with that unintentional but innate gentle rocking motion most women who were meant to be mothers have. Usually, I was awake as soon as she and Dad were, but I knew enough to stay in the shadows. And once she was settled into her devotions (and I’d counted the school buses going by out the window), I’d creep downstairs with my afghan and lay my head in her lap while she rocked and rocked, sips and passing cars the only things breaking the silence.

The word ‘occupied’: My sister and I had a habit of following my mom anywhere – even into the bathroom – whenever we wanted to tell her something. A few times, even before I could actually read “Cinderella,” she would tape a piece of paper with the word ‘occupied’ written on it to the bathroom door when she went inside. We didn’t know what occupied meant, so we were still asking her questions through the door. “Mommy, what does this sign say? What’s occupied mean? Can we have some Kool-Aid?

Tomatoes: Each summer, her greatest horticultural ambition is to raise a successful crop of tomatoes. For many years, they would blight over like clockwork, or the rabbits would manage to get at them, or a storm would wither them beyond hope. She’s had a lot of success lately, with some years more tomatoes than she can deal with without having to can them.

Sewing machines, all fabrics and the Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook: Things my mom has found fascinating since she was five.

Pastels (as in for artwork): She had a box tucked away somewhere that we kept finding and begging her to let us use in our coloring books or as sidewalk chalk.

Teakettles: For her habitual drinking. (Now she is using a regular saucepan, to the chagrin of many in the household.)

Jerry Lewis and Bob Ross.

The names Tillie (especially in reference to Tillywompus), Edith, Meredith, Margaret, Annie, and Paula.

Marigolds and pooping earthworms.

And Tabasco sauce and horseradish.

nothing new under the sun -- more pop culture

Because it stars Jill Hennessey (former -- well, you be the judge -- ADA from seasons 4-6 of Law & Order), I tried to get into NBC's "Crossing Jordan." The show is about a SWF who works in the Boston coroner's office. Her mom was mysteriously murdered when she was young and last I knew her dad is on the run from someone or other. She works with a cop who she's had a relationship with in the past. This past week, she woke up covered in blood, holding a gun next to an off-again-on-again boyfriend who was dead.

A new show on Fox this year is "Bones." She's a forensic anthropoligist (analyzes bones to determine cause of death, etc.) in D.C. who is very un-emotional, highly logical. Her parents disappeared when she was about 15. She works closely with Booth, an FBI agent. They do not have a "relationship," but people are constantly mistaking them for a couple and the writers are always hinting something could happen eventually. Earlier this season, Bones blacked out for a whole day and was the most logical culprit for a gruesome murder.

Others have remarked on very similar episodes between the two. And really, the similarities are endless. Who are the supporting characters in each show? "Crossing Jordan" has the head of the coroner's office, a man who is loosely a mentor to her; two geeky, quirky young men who help in the lab; and Lily, the grief counselor, Jordan's good friend. The cop has various lawyer or cop girlfriends from time to time.

"Bones" supporting cast: the male head of the institute she works at (a mentor-type); two young quirky men who are her lab assistants; and Angela, some sort of forensic artist who is also Bones' best friend.

Yes, clearly this is earth-shattering and worth reading six paragraphs about.

Theoretically, "Bones" is the copycat since it came around a couple of years later. But, to be honest, I like "Bones" more. The characters are a little lighter, you don't want to slap Bones for being so dramatic and wishy-washy, and the fact her relationship with Agent Booth is lightly hinted at is more realistic and believable.

I wish I wasn't saying it -- if it weren't for Claire (Jill Hennessey, the Jordan of "Crossing Jordan"), I'd pick "Bones" hands down.

on religion

There's a radio spot on the biggest local station advertising a site called "notreligion.org." It's geared, it seems, toward those who grew up disillusioned in the church and aims to persuade them that it's not religion that has eternal value but a relationship with God.

"I grew up in the 'church' and it was all rules and regulations. It wasn’t until I went to college that I found out that God doesn’t want “religion;” He wants a relationship. He’s made this relationship possible by sending us His Son, Jesus. (See John 3:16)," writes contributor.

"Would it shock you to know that God isn't interested in religion? Religion is the human effort to reach God through rules and rituals. What God wants is for you to respond to His invitation to join Him in a relationship," explains another talking point. "And while every family has rules, the rules aren't what the family is all about. Religion can never meet our deepest needs; for that, it takes a relationship."

This site and these arguments make me nervous. For one thing, it is essentially bashing the church and, well, either any positive experience a visitor previously had with a church may be trumped, or the visitor will stick with their positive view of the church and tune out the site's message. Church-bashing, while some of the reasons may be valid, puts the organization on some shaky ground because where they might try to "plug in" a responder locally will more than likely need to be a church.

Second, the modern trend of rebelling against liturgical religion is, in a way, a fad. Personally, I believe one explanation for this may be the strength of the Catholic church (and other liturgical traditions)in the 60s, when most of our parents were young. We tend to rebel against what we grew up with of late, so liturgy has been going "out." I would be surprised if liturgy doesn't rebound in the relatively near future as those who grew up "nondemoninational" grow to rebellion.

Third is mostly a personal dilemma -- included in these quotes is something I'm beginning to suspect could be a fallacy. (While many evangelicals accuse Catholics, etc. of adding scripturally-unbased theology, sometimes I think the finger may need to be pointing both ways.)This statement, Religion can never meet our deepest needs; for that, it takes a relationship -- what is it based on? Does anyone know of scriptural support for the promise that God can meet our every need? No doubt it is out there -- I just can't think of it offhand. I would like to believe it. It sounds nice. But I'm getting more suspicious of my own theology as time goes by. What do I believe because it sounds comforting, loving, radical, and what is there really evidence for?

everyone else is doing it

My Personal DNA Report
It was "accurate" than I expected but probably less accurate than the truth.

out at the park

netscape tabloid, pt. 2

Just to finish up this series and be fair to the ever-perplexing majority of regular readers who are single men, the following are the Ten Things Every Single Woman Should Own.

"1. A fabulous photo of yourself -- Post that sucker at eye level on your fridge so your male guest can't help but notice it as he checks out if you have beer (see item #5). What he says: "Is that you?" What he means: 'Daa-aamn, girl, you're hotter than I realized!'" I don't know if I buy this. Thoughts?

"2. A pretty pair of heels -- Admit it. You feel like Maria from West Side Story (You feel pretty, oh so pretty…) when you slip on a pair of nice heels." I think I do own some heels of various types, but I can't say I enjoy wearing them or feel anything but awkward while doing so. Men, do men like heels and if so, how much and why?

"3. An Eminem CD -- Balance out your collection with one CD, any CD, by Eminem and you have no idea how relieved he'll be. It shows you have an open mind and aren't easily offended—and that's music to any man's ears." Mmm, forget it.

"4. A great pickup line…and a way to blow 'em off -- In this post-chivalrous period, we can't always depend on guys to initiate contact, so prepare thyself with one simple, non-cheesy icebreaker to lay on that cutie who's making his way to your area of the bar." Do real people seriously use pick-up lines?

"5. A six-pack of good bottled beer -- A prepared single girl is ready to host and toast at any time. " So far, this is probably the closest tip to being realistic.

"6. Bathroom reading" -- I think they were desperate to find 10 things.

"7. A business card -- After the age of 18, it's no longer cute to scrawl your first name and phone number on a napkin and hand it to a man who wants to call you." Yep, they were desperate.

"8. Earplugs -- Ah, there's nothing sweeter than a man who wants to cuddle up with you in bed for a long night's sleep. Unless—SNZZGGHGHRRJJZZZ!—he snores so loudly you can't get any sleep." Wow, really desperate.

"9. A straight male friend on your speed-dial -- Every girl knows she needs a gay male friend she can go to for fashion advice (a personal Queer Eye for Your Closet). But when it comes to relationship advice, you need another source." Really, really desperate. Wow, this list is a letdown. It's not even amusing like the other one was.

10. -- I'll just let you guess what this one might have been.

netscape: the online tabloid

One of my co-workers has Netscape mail. Netscape's homepage is full of links about strange news or celebrity news or online dating advice. Occasionally he will read to us stories about the top 100 places to live in the U.S. or a Bigfoot theory or what have you. Entertainment. And entertainment is all well and good, it just makes me think of tabloids when it's in this form.

You have to give them credit: these topics do catch your eye and pique your interest. For example: today, a link advertised "Ten things every single man should have," and although you know you won't agree with them, you still want to know what ridiculous things they said. And here's what they said:

"1. A Top-Notch Coffee/Espresso Maker -- Any girl who’s at your place for dinner (or lounging in your bed come morning) deserves a classier send-off than “see ya,” so trade in your college-days $20 coffee maker for a machine that’ll give Starbucks a run for its money. " The recommended machine runs for $230. Maybe that $230 would be better spent... anywhere else at all.

"2. A Lamp in Your Bedroom -- Now, all of you, go out and buy a bedside lamp with a fabric shade. This inexpensive trifle is not lost on women, who not only see it as a sign of your civility (imagine that, a light switch within arm’s reach vs. across the room!), she’ll also feel much more comfortable under its softer, more forgiving glow." (Gag, gag...)

"3. Swiffer Sweeper + Swiffer Cloths + Swiffer Wet Cloths -- For her, walking across your floor barefoot should not be an exercise in muck tolerance." This one's okay -- they really are handy gadgets. I would buy them if my apartment wasn't completely carpeted.

"4. A Comfortable Couch -- Repeat after me: You do not need a black leather couch. Skip the cliché and pick out a plush upholstered sofa, like the simple, elegant, under $1,000 Mercer at Roomandboard.com." Everyone should have a comfortable couch, not just single men. I really need a new couch, too. Or any couch at all.

"5. Nice Underwear -- When it comes to your love life, the last thing you want is for your underwear to be a mood-killer..." (lol)

"6. A Key-Ring That Can Fix, Cut, and Open Anything -- Sure, your power-tool collection is outstanding—but it'll do you no good sitting in your closet when your date's sunglasses come apart at the restaurant." Tell your freaking date to buy a new pair of sunglasses. Why the heck does she need her sunglasses functioning at the restaurant anyway? Chances are it's evening and the sun isn't out anymore...

"7. $150+ Jeans -- Why cough up that much dough when you can find a seemingly fine pair for much less? Because designer denim does make a difference—and you can wear them everywhere from a dive bar to a five-star restaurant, if paired with the right shirt and suit jacket." 1) Never wear jeans, no matter their worth, to a five-star restaurant. 2) The only kind of date who will notice your jeans are designer denim is the kind that may spend you out of house and home one day.

"8. $200+ Dress Shoes -- Accept it: Girls are into footwear, and your feet will be one of the first things she looks at." 1) No they won't. 2) I have never seen a pair of shoes that cost more than $125 in my entire life. 3) If I knew my date was wearing $200+ dress shoes, I would think he was an incredibly irresponsible spender.

"9. 300-Thread-Count Cotton Sheets"-- That's a tad overboard. And who sits and counts the threads, anyway?

"10. The Joy of Cooking -- Few things are sexier than a guy who can cook…" Am I the only girl in the world who doesn't think a guy who can cook is particularly sexy? I can't figure out why everyone doesn't think the other way around -- that a guy who can't cook, is "helpless," is particularly sexy (not that I think that, either). That at least my stimulate the female "mothering" instinct (and please forgive the word "mothering" in connection with dating, but it really is true).

'A picture is worth 488 words' or 'Newspaper production at a small weekly'

On my tax return, I noted next to my virtually useless Social Security Number that my occupation is “journalist.” I might as well not have entered anything, though, for all that word really specifies how I spend my 40 hours a week.

From the scoop-hunting newsrooms of The Washington Post to the sole news desk in the corner at the Sioux County Capital-Democrat, journalism entails completely different things.

One visits washingtonpost.com once or twice a day in order to learn what is happening in the world – murders, bombings, government scandals, new laws, you name it. But in your average small-town newspaper, the news isn’t what sells subscriptions. (Subscriptions are essential – a higher number of subscribers both attracts more advertisers and makes a publication eligible for certain types of legal advertising, which brings in a good chunk of change.) A household subscribes, reads regularly, because the businesses they shop at advertise, or because they want to know who among their neighbors was arrested or married or gave birth or died, how the high school football team did, what free events are coming up. A big-city newsroom would be concerned with none of these things, but they’re the first things you might look for in your weekly. The name is rather misleading – news is the most expendable portion of a weekly paper. Yes, the occasional controversy at the school board will sell some extra issues that week, but counter sales are a minimal income for this type of publication. If the news stories there are are truly heinous, the paper will be less successful, but moving from decent stories to fantastic stories won’t make much difference to the bottom line.

The first thing that must be done each week in the news department at a weekly (often one person) is an assessment of how much space (or how many column-inches, in newsspeak) must be filled. What makes this step most challenging, perhaps, is that it isn’t possible.

The majority of newspapers are funded by advertising, and just how much room the advertising will take up in a given week is not finalized until just hours before the deadline. If an unusually large amount has been sold, the newspaper may choose to add extra pages to the issue. Here, however, there lies a fine line. If only a large amount of ads has been sold (but not unusually large), then the publication may remain at a normal number of pages and the news “department” will be cramped for space. But if the staff extends the issue, they will find themselves “loose” on space and scrambling to find enough copy. How many pages to run is not a decision lightly made, especially among tabloid-size publications that can only adjust their length by increments of four pages.

Formerly, my title was “reporter/photographer.” Again, this was somewhat deceiving as to my actual duties. At least 20 percent of every week is spent in what is called “layout,” or production, of the newspaper. We create what the readers see completely by computer, and it takes significant time to do it. It might take me an hour and a half to actually write the front page text, but it will often take at least that much time just to arrange that page in its final setup.

Challenges:
*A photograph or image of some type really needs to begin “above the fold,” or on the top half of the page.
*The most important or most interesting story needs to be at the top. Sometimes more than one story deserves to be up there, or you’d rather that readers saw more than one headline above that fold. Unfortunately, it is very dangerous to place two headlines directly next to each other, or you might end up with “Peas are good, Bush says”/”Clowns make good friends,” or something hilarious you’d find on Jay Leno. How do you separate them and keep the page looking good?
*Stories should form one rectangle whenever possible.
*Every line, corner, cranny must be filled. Sometimes you must add to or cut from a story to make it fit in the space you have.
*Your photographs might only “work” on one side of the page. If the person is facing left, the photo will most likely need to be placed on the left side of the page. Maybe you have two photos and they both need to be placed on the left. Then your page is off-balance. Or maybe it isn’t off balance, but they leave an awkward amount of space left between them that is too narrow to fit a headline and the start of a story.
*Your headlines must be catchy, must be complete phrases when possible, and they must come as close to the far edge of the column whenever humanly possible. You just try writing a two column-wide headline that inevitably must include “sex offender” and “ordinance.” The phrase you use must place the two terms on separate lines – the terms will not fit on the same line (in the appropriate font size) and neither can be hyphenated and continued on the next line.
*Headline fonts must decrease as you go down the page.

A picture, so they say, is worth 1,000 words. That’s a rather liberal estimate, I say. Your standard tall two-column photo will compensate for maybe 400 words worth of space (similar to a 4x6 snapshot). When you add in a caption (make it a long one), you might be talking 450 words. Add a title, and you could make 500. Still, even 400 words is a considerable hole when it comes to the crunch before the deadline. When our office assistant tells me that I’ve cleaned out her stash of filler photos, this is a warning to be heeded. Readers love photos, and I love giving them photos (a quick fix to most problems), but sometimes there just aren’t any photos to be had.