i speak clarinet (and other tidbits)

I.Sing it to me, Benny...

While it has been eight months since I've even opened the case, I still speak clarinet. Last week I was listening to "Swing Time," a public radio program in the early evenings where old-timers dedicate songs to each other. A Benny Goodman song came on, and, though I'd never heard it and certainly would not have been able to play it anywhere near that caliber, I felt like he was speaking for me and we were on the same wavelength. Seriously, it is like hearing your own voice when you hear your instrument playing. Made me want to go home and dig Mr. Buffet out. Brought back memories of attempted reed-burnings and thoughts-of-the-day and catharsis groups (ah, the Willems) and being petrified of a certain senior. And acclimating freshmeat. And then there's Lora Goll. (Where is Lora Goll? Anyone know? I suddenly miss Lora Goll tremendously.)

II. Another book on my to-write list: "The BS after the BA: An idiot's guide to life after college." Seriously. (Seriously.) I need that book to exist to read it for myself. But the next best thing is writing it to help another. It would be largely based on interviews with college staff and grads and ...well, everyone.

III. Related question for all those old wise souls out there: Did (do) you ever get discouraged by (again, not trying to sound dramatic) not having much to look forward to? For example, when you're in high school you know college is next. Freshman year, you've got sophomore year on your calendar for the next year. Then you've got junior year, then senior... and suddenly there is nothing on your calendar at all for any time in the future. Life is so open that it's not only exciting but frightening. I'm not exactly sure what I'm trying to ask...do you ever get discouraged by having this blank slate in front of you, or have you found tips to combat it? Sure, there are the Sunday School responses that our futures are in God's hands and he has a purpose for us, and they're true and all, but...I'm hoping for something more tangible.

IV. Tonight I covered a school board meeting. I never get bored at them, and I'm always a little sad to see them end. They make me miss school even more. (Noticing a theme? I'm kind of feeling like I did in August when it seemed wrong to not be going back to school -- Christmas is over so isn't it time to buy books? No, go pay your water bill.) The details of curriculum and policies and...the details fascinate me. (A bizarre fascination with systems runs in my family.) School has been life for...17 years, so to suddenly just trash it is naturally awkward.

V. Now, for something not school-related. My grandfather's grandfather was in the calvary during the Civil War. I'd never really had much interest in the Civil War, with the exception of the wonderful novel "Cold Mountain" (I was one of the few who actually liked the film, also). I read it...in school.

Oh well. There's always next time!